I’ve already lost 10+ followers and the pressure is too much. its addicting and  time consuming because of that. idk, i dont feel as connected to it anymore… like it was a phase and now im done. im not sure yet, but i dont think its for me.

crying, looking for something to find comfort in. nothing seems to work. not my bed, not the floor, none of the rooms, not even in my moms arms. its undecsribable. its like watching the children i rasied grow up, and watching my best friend move on with out me, and watching apart of myself being ripped away. why am i even crying? because rachel finally got what she need, what she deserved? because after a year & a half, my favorite couple only got 3 kisses, and now its too late? because quinn, the girl i used to despise, finally grew up into the this mature, wonderful kinda women, and is off to great things? because its all over? the show that saved my life, that was there for me when i felt outcasted and unloved? maybe i am crazy. maybe am i too invested and emotional about these characters & this show, but how can i not be? i’ve always felt so connected with it, i always felt like an outcast, unloved, doing all the wrong things that i thought would make me happy. just wanting to be loved, appreciated. Im not even at that place yet. im not loved by anyone. i have no real friends near by to love me, care about me, give me everything i always give others. THE ONE THING that made me feeled loved, and not alone was this show. this special thing that related to me so well, from the characters personalities, wants & needs, to my general love for music. my longing for acceptance and good friends. its all gone. and even though it will be back in some months, its never gonna be the same. its never gonna fill me with as much joy and emotion. i honestly dont know how im gonna get through it.

ok bye